Blue Monday
Whadda ya mean it isn't today?
Anyone else drag themselves through this morning only to reassure themselves: “It’s fine. This is Blue Monday. Everyone feels suicidal.” Only, spoiler alert: IT WASN’T. Matters are supposed to get worse.
Blue Monday, should anyone not be familiar with the term, is a made-up phrase coined by a holiday company to identify the northern hemisphere’s most dismal day of the year, based on a weighing-up of weather conditions, festive fallout, debt, and resolution fatigue. The very psychologist originally paid to put his name to this faux formula has made it his life’s mission to dispute it. Science, it ain’t.
Still, there’s something about the relentlessness of January once its shiny, new-broomness has worn off. I’m basically okay with the beginning of the year, being someone whose suppurating horror focuses on Christmas. And, yet, even I can succumb to doom spiralling round about mid-month. Think: “Beware, the Ides of January” (13-15th). For January is A Long Month. Money is thin on the ground. While February looms large: a month so unremittingly ghastly even calendar-makers saw fit to keep it short.
Action may be required. Behold, I give you:
January happiness tips from a depressive
Merely function
You don’t have to excel here. Lowest-common-denominator functioning is fine. Today, I hugged the hound; got up (late); made the bed; brewed tea; detonated some work bombs; ate nuts; dealt with more work hysteria; dressed; then, walked the dog.
It was at this point that it occurred to me that my mood was a bit of an issue so I attempted to phone a friend. When this failed, I went to the local café to put myself in the presence of other humans and eat nutritious food. My barista said he felt exactly the same.
You’re not aiming at winning any prizes here. Simply staggering through this stuff is enough for a challenging period. If you’re not lying face down on the floor, anything else is a win.
Small pleasures, big gains
Happy people appreciate that small pleasures have an impact greater than the sum of their parts; especially where expanded into life-enhancing rituals. Brew coffee, lay the table for a meal. Don't ration these joys. Use the good bath oil (copyright Nora Ephron). Live your one life.
This isn’t just some capitalist mantra suggesting you buy your way out of Dodge. More a recommendation to build consideration into what you do. Today – for me - this meant: Lapsang (Waitrose’s is £1.95 for 50 teabags and quaffable); spring flowers; fresh soap; fuck-off fuchsia lipstick; great scent; big boots / vast scarf; gazing at greenery; an ancient history podcast; soup making; supper wielding my favourite napkin; good pencils. I will look at some portraits by a painter I’m newly-obsessed with. There may, or may not be a breaking-into of a new £12.99 make-up palette from TK Maxx. Later, I will read a novel in the bath (Hilary Mantel’s Beyond Black), followed by Substack in bed.
These are some bricks on which my happiness might be built. Discover yours. (For more idea see the appendix, below.)
“Use” something innocuous
Obviously, don’t use anything destructive – excess drink, drugs, abusive behaviour etc. But, if you know something not hugely detrimental to you personally will help, then, by all means give it a whirl. My own safe-ish addiction is work. I can be feeling crappy beyond measure, then a deadline does the trick. Yours might be eating your feelings in the form of a steamed pudding, or a little light Vinted perusal. If you can indulge without doing yourself damage, this is fine.
And don’t forget music. I once found myself musing: "If only there were something like podcasts with no talking." Then, I remembered music. Use it to spur action, sugar existence’s pill, or give it your full attention and be consumed.
Don’t think
Try not to read too much into your mood. And don't invest in your thoughts - they're not necessarily true. AA uses the acronym HALT. Ask yourself whether you're Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired, and whether this may be clouding your judgment. I'd add another H - hormonal, thus HHALT.
Fake it ‘til you make it
This is another AA mantra, as is "This too shall pass". It will. And, if it hasn’t in a few weeks, then ask your doctor for help. This is what they’re there for.
Ask for help
Ask for help anyway meanwhile from non-professionals. Misery often brings the urge to self-isolate. Create a catalogue of people you can be honest with at moments when your brain feels blank. These are the individuals you can be with at this time; the ones you can do nothing with, not merely something.
Talking of which…
#socialcinema
Behold, my latest solution to life’s shittier spells, possibly even life itself: my no-pressure, #socialcinema movement.